Your email address:
1. You're on the phone with your sobbing friend (who was dumped seconds ago by her guy) when your boss at Dynamo Data Entry interrupts to ask you to send a fax. You:
ask your boss, "Right now? Can't you see I'm dealing with a crisis here?"
say to your boss, "I moonlight as a therapist. Is it okay if I take this phone call and then get back to business?"
say to your friend, "Gotta go--duty calls".
2. You're busing a busy Sunday-brunch shift at Flapjack Shack when your boyfriend stops by the restaurant to say hi. You:
say, "Later, babe." And when you meet up with him after work, explain to him that you can't shmooze on company time.
take a 10-minute breather with your beau - never mind that by the time you get back, the dishes piled up in the sink will be maple-syruped together.
tell him you can't talk because table 9 needs your hot-coffee-pouring skills, but you'll be all his in 22 minutes, when break time arrives.
3. In the fitting room at Clothes 'R' Us, a customer who's unsure about the too-tight tube skirt she's squeezed herself into asks for your opinion. You:
guffaw and ask incredulously, "Are you kidding?" You, and your thighs, in that?"
reassure her insincerely (with dollar signs flashing before your eyes), "It fits you so well."
suggest she try on some flattering styles--and bring her an array of bigger-sized skirts.
4. Working at the Yogurt Stop is awesome 'cause you adore the stuff and so do your friends, who tend to congregate at the counter. One afternoon, your starving best bud begs you for a free "sample". You:
fill her order--then take your share of the money from the tips cup to cover it.
tell her to cough up $1.89 first.
take pity on the child and give her an extra large fro-yo with sprinkles. It's not like the manager is gonna miss a scoop of the stuff.
5. Work starts at 9 am. You usually get there at:
8:45 am. (Why take chances?)
between 9 and 10 am. It depends on the traffic--and how late you stayed out the night before.
6. Waiting tables at La Rive has been a bit of a bummer lately, what with the stuck-up clientele acting, well, stuck-up. When the third customer of the day blames you for a foul-tasting dish, you:
flash your sweetest smile, ask if he'd like something else and (in your head) repeat the restaurant's mantra: The customer is always right.
retort, "Chill out, dude. Your taste buds must be out of whack if you can't appreciate this fine fare."
tell him that it's not your fault, but you'll talk to the chef about doctoring the dish.
7. The nectar boy of your dreams (finally) calls and asks you to go to the drive-in tonight. The only problem is, you promised a co-worker two weeks ago you'd cover her shift at 24-7 Video Heaven. You:
tell him you'd love to go but (sigh!) Denzel, Christian and Keanu need you tonight.
call your boss and make her sick by describing your stomach-turning case of fake food-poisoning.
quit your job on the spot. You've gotta be available 24-7--to be dream boy's date.
8. Flipping burgers at the Beach Blimp this summer has only one drawback: a puke-colored uniform (matching visor required). You:
wear jeans, a T-shirt and a cool baseball cap. Rules, schmules.
personalize the outfit with a few embroidered flowers, maybe shorten the skirt an inch.
wear the uniform with pride--and change in the women's room before hitting the parking lot.
9. Working as a nanny is cool, especially in this pool-equipped, mansionlike beach house. When the Mr. and Mrs. leave you alone with John Jr. (the baby, that is) for a weekend, you:
invite a few fave friends over for a Saturday-afternoon Marco Polo party while the kid is napping.
call up everyone you know and throw a huge bash. Your bosses will never find out (at least you hope not).
put the baby to bed, pop some corn and celebrate solo nosh night in front of the giant-screen tube.
10. You're a junior forest ranger on your afternoon rounds when you spot a few (divine-looking) guys building a majorly illegal bonfire. You:
unbutton your shirt a notch, walk over to them and ask if they're in need of some marshmellows.
explaing (in a nice way) why building a fire in a forest is a, um, bad idea--and make them turn in their matches.
radio your boss to tell her about the situation--that way, you don't have to play Smokey Bear and rain on their party.
11.You never thought you'd be cleaning up after strangers (since you can't keep your own room neat), but being a maid at the Do Drop Inn pays big bucks. When you find Room 104 so littered with last night's takeout for 20 that you can't see the
straighten up, then dust and vacuum until the digs look spotless, whistling while you work.
stuff the trash and towels in a garbage bag and pass on the rest--these guests don't deserve it.
clean it up, but compensate yourself for the hard labor by turning on MTV and taking half-hour rest to watch Road Rules.