The police are not here to create disorder, they're here to preserve disorder
-Former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 convention
If you've seen one Redwood tree, you've seen them all
-Forestry expert Ronald Reagan
Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas
-Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people that make them unsafe
-Former Philadelphia Mayor and Police Chief Frank Rizzo
The internet is a great way to get on the net
-Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole
It is bad luck to be superstitious
-Andrew Mathis
He was a man of great statue
-Boston mayor Thomas Menino on former mayor John Collins
It's like an alcatraz around my neck
-Boston mayor Menino on the shortage of city parking spaces
I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off.
-Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
-Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
-Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
-Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents
When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.
-Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge
It's like deja vu all over again.
-Yogi Berra
China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese
-Former French President Charles De Gaulle
The loss of life will be irreplaceable.
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the San Francisco earthquake
That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it.
-A congressional candidate in Texas
It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody.
-Richard M. Nixon
The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This is a good planet.
-Mr. New Jersey contestant when asked what he would do with a million dollars.
We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower
A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money.
-Everett Dirksen
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
-Samuel Goldwyn
Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on Republican family values
I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.
-John Wayne
Half this game is ninety percent mental.
-Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark
It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind.
-General William Westmoreland
What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.
-Former U.S. V.P. Dan Quayle attempting to quote the line a 'mind is a terrible thing to waste'
If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet.
-Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin
I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
Smoking kills, and if you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-Anti-smoking spokesperson Brooke Shields
The police are not here to create disorder, they're here to preserve disorder
-Former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 convention
If you've seen one Redwood tree, you've seen them all
-Forestry expert Ronald Reagan
Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas
-Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it's only the people that make them unsafe
-Former Philadelphia Mayor and Police Chief Frank Rizzo
The internet is a great way to get on the net
-Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole
It is bad luck to be superstitious
-Andrew Mathis
He was a man of great statue
-Boston mayor Thomas Menino on former mayor John Collins
It's like an alcatraz around my neck
-Boston mayor Menino on the shortage of city parking spaces
I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could converse with those people
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
They're multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off.
-Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.
The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
-Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
-Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
-Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents
When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.
-Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge
It's like deja vu all over again.
-Yogi Berra
China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese
-Former French President Charles De Gaulle
The loss of life will be irreplaceable.
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on the San Francisco earthquake
That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it.
-A congressional candidate in Texas
It is necessary for me to establish a winner image. Therefore, I have to beat somebody.
-Richard M. Nixon
The government is not doing enough about cleaning up the environment. This is a good planet.
-Mr. New Jersey contestant when asked what he would do with a million dollars.
We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur.
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower
A billion here, a billion there, sooner or later it adds up to real money.
-Everett Dirksen
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
-Samuel Goldwyn
Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle on Republican family values
I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves.
-John Wayne
Half this game is ninety percent mental.
-Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark
It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind.
-General William Westmoreland
What a waste it is to lose one's mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is.
-Former U.S. V.P. Dan Quayle attempting to quote the line a 'mind is a terrible thing to waste'
If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet.
-Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin
I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.
-Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
When I was a boy, I was told anybody could become president. I'm beginning to believe it.
-Clarence Darrow
It isn't necessary for a politician to fool all the people all the time. A majority on Election Day is enough.
-Anonymous
The trouble with political jokes is they get elected.
-Graffiti at Wolverhampton
Half of the American people never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
-Gore Vidal
Don't vote. You'll only encourage them.
-Graffiti at Oxford
A group of politicians deciding to bump off the President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off The Godfather for not going to church on Sunday.
-Russell Baker
There's so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
-Dick Cavett, mocking the TV-violence debate
Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.
-Henry Kissinger
The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.
-From an article on the growth of federal regulations in the Oct. 24th issue of (National Review)
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let her have it.
-Lyndon B. Johnson
When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment.
-Warren Farrell
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
-Lana Turner
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher...and that is a good thing for any man.
-Socrates
She's a lovely person. She deserves a good husband. Marry her before she finds one.
-Oscar Levant to Harpo Marx upon meeting Harpo's fiancee
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-Sacha Guitry
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invaribly they are both disappointed.
-Albert Einstein
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
-Phyllis Diller
My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
-Rodney Dangerfield
I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
-Noel Coward, 1956
Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. -Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it. -His reply
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
-David Bissonette
Marriage is not a word; it is a sentence.
-Anonymous
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.
-Anonymous
Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent.
-Anonymous
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
-Anonymous
Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.
-Anonymous
Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Therefore ....
-Anonymous
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
-Anonymous
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
-Anonymous
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
-Anonymous
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
-Anonymous
Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out.
-Montaigne
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
-Hemant Joshi